sexy sms, love jokes, humor, английские смс приколы, иностранные прикольные смс The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ... no?... Bungler!
By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.
Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.
Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between.
Searching (sex)...Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment...Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration
SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ... Lets PLAY the game.you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!
What does position 68 mean...You are doing me and I owe you one!!
Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ... "Honey, I am home!"
There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!
Why does a woman have two pair of lips?... One is for fighting and one is to make up.What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?... They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.
If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
American students say:...people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
Sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)
A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
Press down...down more...ok...more...yes...ahh...ohh...yes...almost there...yeah...oh shit...harder...so good! mmmm ...That's how we sex on text.
Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!
Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!
Sex is like Nike, just do it.
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!What is the difference between a man and a dildo?... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness.
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play Magic? She says: What's that? ...He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear...
