men & women, sms humor, английские смс приколы, иностранные прикольные смс
Wife 2 hr frnd:My hubby bought me a Mood ring d othr day
Wen im in a gud mood,it trns Green & wen im in a bad mood,it leaves a red mark on his forehead! A response 2 a corny pick-up line!
Male: Is dis seat empty?
Female: Yes,and mine wil be too, if u sit down..!
Man: 'My wife has d worst memory ever.'
Frnd: 'She forgets everything,huh?'
Man: 'No, she remembers everything!'
Lady 2 her maid:
I hv a reason 2 suspect tat my hubby's
havin an affair wid his secretary.
Maid: I dont believe it!
Ur jus sayin tat 2 make me jealous!
Q.How do u knw tat beer contains female hormones?
A.Wen u drink too much of it, u cant say nythng sensible
u start 2 nag & ur no longer able 2 drive a car!
Husband:
A man who buys his football tickets
four months in advance & waits until
Dec 24 to do his Christmas shopping!
At da cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't u wearing ur wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Consequences of a live-in relationship:
The gal rushed in2 d house screaming to her guy, "Darling,Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids."
MEN-opause,MEN-strual pain, MEN-tal illness, GUY-necologist,HIS-terectomy.
Ever noticed how women's
problems start with men??Q:How Dogs n Women are alike?
A:Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, n Both put too much value on kissing!!
A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note.
U don't know how many have handled
it but u still want to have it.
A man who surrenders wen he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders wen he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders wen he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND!!
Q:Y do couples hold hands during wedding?
A:Its just a formality
lyk two boxers shakin hands
b4 the fight begins..!!
Definition of WIFE:
Sum1 who wil stand by u thro al d
troubles whch u wudnt have had
if u had stayed single...!!
The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short...
Such a Person doesnt exist!!
By al means marry.
If u get a good wife, u`ll be happy.
If u get a bad one, u`ll become a
philosopher...
If u want ur wife to listen
and pay strict attention to
every word you say,then...
talk in ur sleep!!2 ways 2 suicide:
1.Quick Death:Take a BIG rope, tie it around ur neck n hang urself.
2.Slow Death:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a gal's neck n marry her!
2 ways 2 suicide:
1.Quick Death:Take a BIG rope, tie it around ur neck n hang urself.
2.Slow Death:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a gal's neck n marry her!
Wife: Darling today is our
anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence
for 2 minutes..!!
Wife to husband: Stop looking at girls, ur married now.
Husband: U mean if im on a diet, i cannot even look at the menu??
Q:What is the definition of Mistress?
A:Someone between the Mister and Mattress!
LOVE-Wen u argue ovr how
many children 2 hav.
LUST-Wen u argue ovr ho
gets d wet spot.
MARRIAGE-Wen u argue ovr
whose idea was it 2 hav kids!
Q:During Marriage ceremony y is d
bridegroom made 2 sit on d horse?
A:He is given his last chance to
run away...!!
Q:Wat is d BEST n WORST news u
can hear @ d SAME time?
A: It is wen ur GirlFriend says U
r d BEST KISSER among al ur
Frnds...!!Q:Y r women such bad drivers?
A:Coz thr is no road between d
bedroom n the bathroom..!
Q:Hw do u knw wen a woman's abt
2 say somethng smart?
A:Wen she starts her sentence wid
'A man once told me..'
It is difficult 2 understand GOD.
He made such Wonderful persons
called Women n then he turns
them into Wives..!
Wife: Darling today is our
anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..!!
Wife to husband: Stop looking at girls, ur married now.
Husband: U mean if im on a diet, i cannot even look at the menu??
Q:What is the definition of Mistress?
A:Someone between the Mister and Mattress!
LOVE-Wen u argue ovr how
many children 2 hav.
LUST-Wen u argue ovr ho
gets d wet spot.
MARRIAGE-Wen u argue ovr
whose idea was it 2 hav kids!
Q:During Marriage ceremony y is d bridegroom made 2 sit on d horse?
A:He is given his last chance to run away...!!
Q:Wat is d BEST n WORST news u can hear @ d SAME time?
A: It is wen ur GirlFriend says U r d BEST KISSER among al ur Frnds...!!
Q:Y r women such bad drivers?
A:Coz thr is no road between d
bedroom n the bathroom..!
Q:Hw do u knw wen a woman's abt
2 say somethng smart?
A:Wen she starts her sentence wid
'A man once told me..'
It is difficult 2 understand GOD.
He made such Wonderful persons
called Women n then he turns
them into Wives..!
Q:Y r husbands lyk lawn mowers?
A:They're hard 2 get started, emit foul odors, n don't work half d time!
Husband to wife:Why do u keep reading
r marriage licence?
Wife to Husband:I'm looking 4 a loophole!
