dirty jokes, sms humor, английские смс приколы, иностранные прикольные смс
Woman is d best vehicle in d world
Front-2 bumpers
Back-2 bumpers
Self lubricating wen hot
Monthly automatic engine oil change
Evry type of piston fits!What’s hairy on the outside
and moist inside, begins with
a 'C' ends with a 'T' and
has U' and 'N' in the middle?...
A:) 'COCUNUT
A boy comes 2his clas wid
broken spectacles
Teachr:wat hapnd?
Boy:I was kissin my galfrnd.
Teachr:So hw did ur specs brk?
Boy:She closed her legs!
Come here.
Take off ur pants
n get on top of me..
Enjoy me until ur
totally satisfied..
Urs lovingly
- TOILET !!
Q: What is a man's idea of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard..!
Roses are red, Grass is green, Your legs are beautiful, and whats in between??
Q: Wat do a clitoris, an anniversary, n a toilet
have in common?
A: Men always miss them!
Gal:Mom wats a Pnis?
Mom:Wen u become a gud gal u wil get one.
Gal:Wat if I dont become a gud gal?
Mom: Then u wil get many..!!
Management Tips:
Secretary is not a part of the 'Office Furniture', until 'Screwed firmly on the Table.'Penis Theory
If d Pnis is hard & erect
it needs Gud Fck!
If its erect bt soft
it needs Gud Suck!
If its neither hard nor erect
it needs Gud Luck!
Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said no, but "her ass meant" yes.
A boy from third class asked his teacher, can a Girl of my age have babies?
She said, "What? NEVER"
Boy told the girl sitting next, "See, I told you not to worry"
SEX is like a restaurant
Sometimes you get good service, sometimes you get bad service, sometimes no service and
Many times you have to be
happy with self-service.
What do you call 365 used condoms?
- A good year.
4 types of women having sex
1.Asthmatic=ah..aahh..ah..ahh
2.Obedient=yes..oh..yes..ah..yes
3.Greedy=more..more..pls
4.Religious=oh god..oh..oh..god
Woman's prayer: Oh holy man, lay down with me on a holy bed, let your holy pole enter my holy
hole so that your holy water
can produce a holy soul...
5 road signs which best describe
female organs
1.deep excavation
2. Slippery when wet
3. Stop on red signal
4. Slow down curves and hump
5. Men at workSkin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin, hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
Q. What's the difference between
a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually
search for a golf ball!
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - Why?
Reason - Because she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything..!
Can't believe! After all the SHIT
that's happenned between them, They are still together?
WHO?
YOUR BUMS
(_;_)
Sex and Proffession:
Bankers do it with interest;
Djs do it on request;
Dentist does it oral;
Medical Rep. does it for sample
and Pathologist do it as an examination
10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend-
Truthful, Intelligent, Gentle, Humble, Tolerant, Polite, Understanding, Sexy, Smart, Youthful.
In short -TIGHT PUSSYHAPPY POTTY DAY!
2dAy Is WoRlD pOtTy DaY.
sEnD dIs To 7 PeRsOnS
& uLl HaV GoOd MoTiOn 4 1 wEeK
ElSe U wIl SuFfEr WiD a SeRiOuS
pOTtY pRoBlEm 4A Yr.
GoD bLeS u Al..
Happiness is lyk a dick.
It alwys luks smal if u
hold it in ur own hand.
But wen u learn 2 share it, u realize how big it grows..!
First case of Viagra overdose reported
The man died and they could not
close the coffin for three days...
A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two let us screw, Three four I'm a whore, Five six suck the dick, Seven eight ejaculate, Nine ten fuck me again!
A cat n a rooster sat by a lake, d cat fell in d lake, d rooster laughed!
LESSON:wen thr's a wet pussy, thr's a happy cock!!!
Son on his honeymoon cald his mom askin wat 2 do.
MOM:"Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng"
SON:i got my nose in her armpit.Now wat?
Y is a Christmas tree better than a man?
Coz its always erect,stays up for 12 days
and nights,has cute balls,n luks gud
wid da lights on!!
Sex and Proffession:
Bankers do it with interest;
Djs do it on request;
Dentist does it oral;
Medical Rep. does it for sample
and Pathologist do it as an examination
10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend-
Truthful, Intelligent, Gentle, Humble, Tolerant, Polite, Understanding, Sexy, Smart, Youthful.
In short -TIGHT PUSSY
HAPPY POTTY DAY!
2dAy Is WoRlD pOtTy DaY.
sEnD dIs To 7 PeRsOnS
& uLl HaV GoOd MoTiOn 4 1 wEeK
ElSe U wIl SuFfEr WiD a SeRiOuS
pOTtY pRoBlEm 4A Yr.
GoD bLeS u Al..
Happiness is lyk a dick.
It alwys luks smal if u
hold it in ur own hand.
But wen u learn 2 share it, u realize how big it grows..!
First case of Viagra overdose reported
The man died and they could not
close the coffin for three days...
A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two let us screw, Three four I'm a whore, Five six suck the dick, Seven eight ejaculate, Nine ten fuck me again!
A cat n a rooster sat by a lake, d cat fell in d lake, d rooster laughed!
LESSON:wen thr's a wet pussy, thr's a happy cock!!!
Son on his honeymoon cald his mom askin wat 2 do.
MOM:"Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng"
SON:i got my nose in her armpit.Now wat?
