Politics, goverment jokes

Politician: Im a self-made Man.
A man frm Audience: Tat relieved the
Almighty of a terrible responsibility!!
Q: How did Bill Clinton
get a crick in his neck?
A: He was trying to save both faces.

Q: Why do they always fly around a
live turkey in a cage on Air Force1?
A: For spare parts.

Laloo goes 2bar wid 2 englishmen
1st man says:PETERSCOTCH SINGLE
2nd says:REMIMARTIN SINGLE
Laloo luks arnd n says..
LALOO PRASAD MARRIED!

A reporter asked Laloo Prasad Yadav
'Wat is d main reason 4 a divorce?'
Laloo after thinking a lot replied..
'Marriage'.

Q: Whoz a true Patriot?
A: A person whos alwys ready 2 defend
his country against his government.

Q: Wat do u get wen u cross a crooked
lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Chelsea.

A Judge Charged 5400 bucks fine
to a man, When asked why 5400
judge replied 5000 for the rape
and 8% Entertainment Tax...!!

Dying U.S soilder : if I culd
kiss american flag before I
die.
Nurse: I hav a tatoo of it on
my butt, he kisses it n says
now turn arund so dat i can
kiss Bush 2
Q: What did Pres Bush first
say when he heard about the blackout?
A: "Send in that Engergizer Bunny!"

Q: Why did George W. Bush
used to drink so much?
A: He was hoping that
Bud would make him Wiser!!

A politician is a guy who shakes
ur hand before an election and
ur confidence afterwards.

Q: How many Hillary Clintons
does it take to change a light bulb?
A:One coz she just holds the bulb
n the world revolves around her..

Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses?
A: He's afraid of the draft.

Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
A: To meet the chick.

Q: Wat do u get wen u cross a crooked
lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Chelsea.

Q: How can you tell wen is Bill Clinton
telling a lie by looking at his face?
A: If his lips are moving, then he's lying.Q: How many Bill Clintons does
it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None coz He'll only promise 'change.'

Q: How does Bill Clinton say
'Im about to hurt you'?
A: 'Trust me.'

Laloo goes 2bar wid 2 englishmen
1st man says:PETERSCOTCH SINGLE
2nd says:REMIMARTIN SINGLE
Laloo luks arnd n says..
LALOO PRASAD MARRIED!

A reporter asked Laloo Prasad Yadav
'Wat is d main reason 4 a divorce?'
Laloo after thinking a lot replied..
'Marriage'.

Q: Wat is d similarity btwn
Priyanka Gandhi & Fiat Uno?
A: Both r made by Indians with
Italian support.

Airhostess 2 Laloo:
Ru a vegetarian or a non-vegeterian
Laloo:
Im a Sagittarian..!

Q:Y r politicians proof of reincarnation?
A:U just cant get tat screwed up
in one lifetime.

A Point to ponder on:
Among politicians d esteem of religion
is profitable
while d principles of it r troublesome.Q: Whoz a true Patriot?
A: A person whos alwys ready 2 defend
his country against his government.

Q: How does Bill Clinton say
'Im about to hurt you'?
A: 'Trust me.'

Laloo goes 2bar wid 2 englishmen
1st man says:PETERSCOTCH SINGLE
2nd says:REMIMARTIN SINGLE
Laloo luks arnd n says..
LALOO PRASAD MARRIED!

A reporter asked Laloo Prasad Yadav
'Wat is d main reason 4 a divorce?'
Laloo after thinking a lot replied..
'Marriage'.

Q: Wat is d similarity btwn
Priyanka Gandhi & Fiat Uno?
A: Both r made by Indians with
Italian support.

Airhostess 2 Laloo:
Ru a vegetarian or a non-vegeterian
Laloo:
Im a Sagittarian..!

Q:Y r politicians proof of reincarnation?
A:U just cant get tat screwed up
in one lifetime.

A Point to ponder on:
Among politicians d esteem of religion
is profitable
while d principles of it r troublesome.Q: Whoz a true Patriot?
A: A person whos alwys ready 2 defend
his country against his government.

Politics is d art of luking 4 trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, & applying d wrong remedy..!

Politician: Im a self-made Man.
A man frm Audience: Tat relieved the
Almighty of a terrible responsibility!!

A Judge Charged 5400 bucks fine
to a man, When asked why 5400
judge replied 5000 for the rape
and 8% Entertainment Tax...!!

Q: How many republicans does it
take to raise your taxes?
A: None.
The democrats do that.

Q: How did Bill Clinton
get a crick in his neck?
A: He was trying to save both faces.

Dying U.S soilder : if I culd
kiss american flag before I
die.
Nurse: I hav a tatoo of it on
my butt, he kisses it n says
now turn arund so dat i can
kiss Bush 2